The Smartest Man Since Jesus Walked The Earth

This whole Coronavirus thing is really pissing me off! COVID-19, one of the worst sons of bitches who ever lived, has made everybody so terrified that nobody wants to go outside in fear that they'll come across this bastard on the street and meet their demise. Even fast food restaurants have closed down their concourses and only have their drive-thru operational as a means to get nutrition. Before this monstrosity, one of the things I looked forward to everyday was when I would go to McDonalds or some other crusty joint and sit there for a long time while I munched down on thousands of calories worth of cholesterol and took a million refills from the soda fountain (often combining different flavors and seeing which ones mix and matched the best). It was during quaint time when I would think of all the important stuff in my personal life and broader world issues - such as WWE, video games, and SpongeBob SquarePants. It's nice to just sit and think. I would sit on my chafing ass ...

I was on the brink of death! I had inoperable terminal cancer all over my entire body. Tubes were coming out of me every which way. I even had a tube lodged up my anus. My breath was faint and I knew I was living out my final days. I wanted to spend the rest of the little time I had in this world relaxing. All I wanted to do was chill, watch TV and play videogames. But then things went completely downhill! A full tumor wrapped around my entire brain. I went into a vegetative state and my mind was a bunch of mush. It was even worse than being in a normal comma - my mouth was hanging off my face sideways and slobbering droll was coming from my tongue while my eyes had rolled into the back of my head. My skin went pale and I looked like a zombie. My hair was wasn't groomed at all: it went completely white and looked very thin and flaky. My face was so wrinkly that a person only had to look at it for a tenth of a second to feel extremely ill. A chunk of my nose had fallen off and lef...

This past month hasn't been one of my best. Usually I'm very suave and debonair, but lately I've been acting like a schlub. I stupidly for the past little while was accidentally not using shampoo in my hair. When I was showering I was using the conditioner bottle for my hair (without even realizing it wasn't shampoo). It was a real face palm moment! My hair looked like an absolute mop! It was very greasy, tangled in knots and just plain disgusting. My cowlick was sticking up and I couldn't get it to go down. It's no wonder why all of the girls with huge tits who are usually all over me have been repulsed by me recently. I must've stunk to high heaven! Thankfully I realized my error and got myself some real first-class salon approved shampoo. But not washing my hair properly wasn't the worst thing that happened to me this month. A few days ago something truly horrific occurred. I might never live this down. I'll be truly ashamed of this for the rest o...

There used to be a time when a man didn't leave his home without wearing a fancy hat. A nice tailored suit and immaculate head wear were staples of men's clothing during the late 1800s and early 1900s. The Top Hat was the OG of the modern fancy hats. The iconic image of Abraham Lincoln can't be complete without him dawning his huge Top Hat. The elites of society wore their Top Hats proudly and showed them off to the whole world wherever they went. It may seem silly now, but the Top Hat was epitome of cool during its day. Unfortunately, it didn't stand the test of time, and very few people continue to wear Top Hats. Next came the Bowler hat. It didn't actually get its name because of its bowl shape, as many people think, but rather from the last name of the man who produced it. The Bowler hat was first conceived when gamekeepers and riders on horseback were clunking their heads on trees. They were really pissed off from hurting themselves all the time and they demand...

Many of the greatest singers of all time were gay men. A lot of gay men have the natural ability, charisma, flamboyance, creativity and willingness put their whole essence into a piece of art. Gay men have musical prowess in their very veins. University music programs are filled with gay people. It's almost a guarantee that 95% of the male actors in a musical will be gay. In fact, it can be argued that gay people have contributed much more to great music than straight people have. Yet there were many barriers that gay men had to face over the years. Gay people have always been shunned for just simply being who they are. Numerous gay men have been bullied and harassed because of their sexuality. It's even worse if they happen to be famous - especially if they were popular during the 60s, 70s and 80s. A lot of famous gay people had to pretend they weren't gay because the jerks of society wouldn't accept them if they were honest about their sexuality, and they were forced ...

When it comes to Star Wars, the original trilogy can't be matched. I would never have the audacity to say that prequels were as legendary as the original trilogy, but I will say that the prequel trilogy was damn near a masterpiece. These three films were nearly perfect! If George Lucas had just ironed out a few things, the prequels could've been just as adored as the originals. To use a Baseball analogy, Lucas nearly hit a homerun but unfortunately the ball just died at the warning track. Lucas almost had another masterpiece on his hands, but he fell a little bit short. Yes, the prequel trilogy was actually very good, despite what many people think. It had a compelling story, many dramatic moments, tons of action, romance, beautiful music and many other great things! But why is it absolutely despised by many? It definitely has faults, which kept it from being an all-time classic set of films, but it definitely had more positive aspects then negative aspects. Let's dive in a...

In the mid-90s times were tough for WWE. Vince McMahon had just gone through the steroid trial that almost put him away in jail for many years. While Mr. McMahon was busy clearing his good name, he took his eye off the ball and let many things slip through his grasp. Huge WWE names, such as Hulk Hogan, Macho Man Randy Savage, Mean Gene Okerlund, Razor Ramon, Kevin Nash, Bobby The Brain Heenan, and many others left him in the dust and signed with rival promotion WCW. In the 1980s, everybody knew most of the top competition was in the WWE. WCW had some huge stars, but the vast majority of big names resided within the confines of WWE. That's why WWE crushed WCW during the 80s. It's like choosing between watching the NBA and European League Basketball. Any basketball player worth anything plays in the NBA. Likewise, any wrestler in the 80s who was worth anything (with the exception of Ric Flair and Dusty Rhodes) fought in WWE. The European League Basketball championship is a cute l...