Tsuris At A Concert

It's no secret that I'm a gay man. I support the LGBTQ+ community whenever I get the chance. I go to rallies, go to pride parades, attend support meetings, and do whatever I can to help my fellow brothers and sisters in this marginalized community. 

One of the biggest things I do is support LGBTQ athletes, artists, authors and musicians. I attend a lot of concerts where one or more members of the band are LGBTQ. Even if the artist is already dead, I still do whatever I can to make sure their legacy never fades away. 

I'm a huge Queen fan. I believe that Freddie Mercury is the greatest singer who ever lived. One of the greatest regrets of my life was that I never got to see this man live. In the 70s and 80s, when Queen was in their heyday, I regrettably refused to attend their shows. 

For many years I repressed my homosexuality. For a huge chunk of my life I was a fundamentalist religious nut. Even though I knew I was gay, I tried to repress my desires and live in accordance to the religion that was ingrained in me. I tried to act as macho as I could -- and I avoided anything that I thought would bring out my true identity. I was in the closet for many years. Because of this, I never went to a Queen concert. 

But I secretly wanted to be just like Freddie Mercury. I wanted to wear women's clothes, shake my ass and be allowed to flamboyantly live just like him. Deep down I wished that I could be free to show the world who I truly was. But I thought that God would condemn me if I ever expressed my true self. Even though I absolutely loved Queen's music, I had to pretend that I hated it 

Freddie Mercury died in November 1991. It brings a tear to my eye that this great man died at such a young age. It's a tragedy that imbeciles and homophobes like Pat Robertson and Paul Crouch got to live long lives and spout their vile hatred unchecked for so many years, but that a wonderful and supremely talented human being like Freddie Mercury was cut down in the prime of his life. I wish I could go back in time, go to a Queen concert or event that featured Queen (such as Live Aid) and show my support for this awesome man. 

I can't go back in time, but now that I'm open about my homosexuality, I can do my part to make things better. As I said before, I do whatever I can to help the LGBTQ community. Even if it's just simply attending a concert with an LGBTQ artist, I do whatever I can to show my support. In 2019 I attended my first ever Queen concert. Freddie Mercury may be dead, but his legacy lives on. The other members of the band are still performing, and they're educating the younger generation about the greatness of Freddie Mercury. Adam Lambert is performing as their lead singer, and even though he's no where near  the talent that Mercury was, he's still a really good singer. 

I thoroughly enjoyed the concert. I really liked it how Lambert made it clear that nobody could ever replace Freddie, but that he wanted to be with Queen to help them keep performing -- and never let the fire that Freddie blazed go out. The most important thing is, Adam Lambert himself is a gay man, and he's a huge supporter of the LGBTQ community. He was the proper choice to carry the torch after Freddie. 

A few weeks ago I decided to attend a Queen tribute concert. I heard that the group, Queen Nation, was one of the best tribute bands in existence. I heard that they really emanated the spirit of Queen. I couldn't wait to see them. I bought my ticket and eagerly anticipated the show. The ticket was only $30, but there was a catch: you had to buy an expensive dinner. It was a small venue that didn't hold many people, so I guess to make a profit they had to force people to buy a meal. I was a little irritated, but I decided that the money spent would probably be worth it. 

On the night of the concert I arrived at 6:45. The band was scheduled to go on stage at 8:00. I thought that I would have plenty of time to get inside and settle down before the concert. But there was a huge line just to get into the building. The line went on and on and on and on and on and on and on! It could've circled the moon and back five 1/8 times. God Damn -- this line is so long! I thought to myself. 

The clock was ticking and I was getting nervous. I grunted and slapped my knee in anger. Just as I was walloping in pain, one of the workers shoved a menu into my arms and told me that I needed to decide what I wanted for dinner. I would have to tell the people who were working at the front my decision when I got there. 

The menu didn't have many options, but everything was extremely expensive. I sighed and decided that would get the $40 rib-eye steak. The clock kept ticking, and by the time I got to the front it was 7:55. I angrily showed the workers my ticket and told them that I was ordering the rib-eye steak. They took note of where I was sitting, and then I gave them the money for the meal. I asked them to show me where my seat was, as I had never been there before and wasn't familiar with the place. 

They told me to stand off to the side for a moment. I started pacing around angrily. There was less then 5 minutes before the band was scheduled to go onstage, and everything was in a state of disarray. The workers were scrambling around, looking like chickens with their heads cut off. Things were not organized at all. It was a total mess! At 8:00 sharp, Queen Nation got onstage and started performing. 

I still wasn't seated! I was absolutely fuming at this point! The stupid workers forgot about me. I stormed up to one of them and demanded that they show me to my seat. She apologized for their incompetence and lead me to my seat. 

Everybody was all crammed together, and it was very uncomfortable. I noticed that my steak wasn't on the table, and my whole body started shaking in fury. I didn't want my $40 to go straight down the shitter. I kept looking around for a waiter, seeing if any one of them had my steak, but nobody ever came. 

Queen Nation was awesome -- they are a tremendous tribute band -- but I couldn't fully enjoy the concert because the steak that I had paid a lot of money for never came. I was sweating profusely and swearing under my breath. I was so anxious about the steak that I couldn't just sit back and enjoy the band. 

When the concert was over I stormed over to the manager and demanded my money back. She nervously went over to the cash register and gave me my 40 bucks back. I screamed that I was never coming back to this venue again. I was even considering pissing on their floor, but I thought better of it -- I didn't want to spend the night in jail. 

I got into my car and I was so angry that I zoomed out of the parking lot and almost ran somebody over who was walking to their car (unintentionally, of course). On the entire drive home I going in excess of 100 MPH. My eyes literally turned red, just like how Cruella De Vil's pupils turned blood red in the climatic chase scene of the Disney classic 101 Dalmatians. 

When I arrived at my house, my stomach started to rumble and I realized that because of the incompetence of the venue, I was very hungry. I zipped off to the nearest Jack In The Box. I ordered five Jumbo Jacks, four tacos, three large curly fries, two large Diet Cokes, and an Oreo Milkshake. I had to wait in the drive-thru for over 30 minutes before I got my food.

I sped home and stormed inside. But then I suddenly realized that they never gave me the Oreo Milkshake. I yelled "FUCK!" at the top of my lungs, and in my anger I dropped all the other food, creating a huge mess. I threw a huge temper tantrum for five hours, and the whole night was NOTHING BUT TSURIS!

*Author's Note: Just to make things absolutely clear, none of the tsuris from the evening came from Queen Nation. They're an awesome tribute band, and I would gladly see them anytime at a different place. The tsuris was all caused by the incompetence of this specific venue.*